vicmarcal wrote:Curiouslly,those are the ReactOS Board people who has not ignored you, who haa been answered you during all these days and the ones who spent time reading and answering your long posts.
Now I felt I have wasted that time trying to answer your doubts when I could have ignored you and dedicated that time to ReactOS testing.
It's funny: If a ReactOS Board member answers you he is an "ass" if not you feel ignored.
Did you find any non-assed ReactOS members? You ask us for autocriticism.Hope you do the same.
You want us to "give you an area and its full control"..In-cre-di-ble. For that you need:
1)Win Trust. And no, carrying your problems to another forum isnt a way to win trust.
2)Be Rispectful. Calling other "asses" is totally unrispectful.I didn't insult you at all.
3)Learn to work in team. And I seriouslly doubt you will ever learn how to do that, and the "gimme an area just for me" is a perfect demonstration of this fact.
4)Accept criticisms. As any other dev or member you have to be able accept constructive criticisms.After reading all the answers, I can tell you that your personality is not acfepting criticisms at all anf hence you are calling "asses" to those who doesnt share your exactly pov
Can this be a moderation-free post? That is why I started the Offbeat thread, to have a safe place to post and let it all out without fear of action here. That is similar to why the last Reactos business meeting was secret. That way it would be safe for devs to say whatever they felt they needed to, without the scrutiny of the Reactos community nor any misuse of the information by the general public.
Since I only included 4-5 in my condemnation, then that means all but them are not in that category. So less than 1% of all members were included in the name-calling. I should have never said Reactos would be better without anybody. Who am I to make such a judgment?
By "ignored" I don't mean not being answered. I would rather be ignored in that sense. Just overlook me and go about your business. By "ignored," I mean the treatment of the concerns. I don't care if I get an answer if you fix the underlying issues. If you refuse to rectify a problem and answer with hubris, that is ignoring the issue. Repeating the same tired party lines is really a way of ignoring things and not addressing them. If they were simply avoiding me (the definition of ignore you went with, which is a correct definition of several), I would feel my criticisms paid off. But continuing to ride me means that my complaints were ignored. It is not the fact of a response I care about
I never had any "doubts," only things to share. Rather than micromanaging me and finding things wrong with every thing I say, they could have spent that testing, coding, etc. Their lack of self-discipline is not my issue.
I never once thought I was "special," so the accusation of that is libel and against civil law. Actually, it seems the 4-5 in question were the ones thinking they were special and had the only right answers. I see they mistreat all the same way, and it is time someone speaks up.
1. Actually, it is the trust of the 5 that is the issue, not any that I have earned. I once trusted them, now I would have to see it since they blew it. Distrust breeds distrust. I had earned trust already, but was not given what I had earned. It was that lack of trust shown to me despite me earning it that *caused* me to take it to other forums - not the reverse. If my concerns were taken seriously enough to get permanent changes in behavior and policies (ie., "not ignored" as I meant it), and if my PMs were not answered with a brick wall mentality of hubris, I would have never taken our dirty laundry to another forum. I didn't trust you to allow me to say what I needed to without ANY consequences. Creating artificial consequences to heap on others *always* destroys trust. If you want me to trust you, then you will not add any consequences that are not automatic and inherent. If I had the absolute assurance I could say what I wanted about Reactos without consequences, I would have never taken it to Topix Offbeat. Those are my peers, and I trust a number of them. The brash, masculine style of the key people in charge does nothing to earn nor warrant my trust nor respect.
2. What I said was pay-back (I know, wrong of me, since even I say that 2 wrongs don't make things right). You may have never called me names, but you cavalierly dismissed all my concerns in an arrogant fashion. Actions speak louder than words. You made it clear that none of my concerns were considered problems, and that total lack of regard is the problem. You all seem to be in denial of your own lack of respect, but want to point out the lack of respect of others after they have done it in response to your own. It is similar to a person who cannot control their alcohol use and refuses to admit that is a problem. They will be staggering and soiling themselves and yet maintain they have no problem. They are blind to it.
3. Delegating people to run areas is part of a team. Forced conformity should never be a part of teamwork (like on Seinfeld where everyone at the company all ate tainted food and got very sick to prove they were team players). If you want teamwork and cooperation, you would learn to overlook the shortcomings of others and never mention them, and keep rebukes to a minimum. Some people do their best work alone and answering directly to actual leaders, so why not facilitate that rather than condemn it? Reactos is in dire need of help. So why not accommodate several different work styles and accept help where you can get it? We cannot afford to be choosy. In fact, that means I must take back my condemnation of the 5. They have done much more than me. How they manage the forums does not negate their overall contributions and time they put in.
Over the last 19 years, I've been a moderator of some sort or another, from hosting a dialup BBS (6 years) to running mailing lists, online Clubs, and online Groups. I have a very minimalist approach. Plus I host a handful of blogs, and I spent a couple years as a Toastmaster's International member, earning Advanced Communicator Bronze. So why not let me moderate a forum? You can observe me, and observe the drama to participation ratio. If it is bad, then call that a failed experiment. Or, I can host a forum elsewhere and you can observe from a distance. Or, I can take the blog I already have and turn it into a resource center. I've also worked at a computer store building PCs, I've built a handful for my own use, and I was once a freeware/shareware author. I am not here to brag, since I know plenty are here with much more impressive credentials.
4. I accept reasonable and fair criticism, as long as it is constructive and polite, and only given by those with the authority to do so. I've seen very little which fits that bill. Moreover, it seems 4-5 of the team leaders are able to dish out criticism, but refuse to take it well. They seem to feel that their position makes them above reproach. As evidence, one just said they thought I was like that. Often, the one to make such a charge first is the one guilty. The problem is not that others don't share my POV, but it is that they find fault in nearly *everything* I say or do. Just say you disagree, and preferably without commentary nor inserting any power dynamics. Don't make it personal nor couch it behind orders nor pretend things violate the rules to marginalize the one you disagree with.
I never said I was hot under the collar when I wrote what I did. I wasn't. Actually, I proofread it to get it as civil as it was, and it all felt right at the time I pushed send. I struggled with pushing send, but finally decided that was truly how I felt at the time. Nearly everything I say is reactive and only good for that moment, as far as emotional and personal content are concerned, and nearly everything I say is tentative as well. I see nothing as constant nor stable. But you can tell if something is an emotional post if the tone gets better as it progresses. Getting things out returns the power that others have stolen from you, and as it returns, the tone improves. The problem with long posts is that they are harder to proofread and to spot and remove inflammatory portions. As for tech advice, that usually remains constant, unless I made an error of fact or the information becomes obsolete.
At any rate, I am willing to work with everyone here if they are willing to meet me at least half way. It would be nice to put this thread and related ones behind us forever today. I believe that is possible. And we can put our efforts to making 1.0 by the end of next year. Just tell me where I can help the most. I probably should do what I said and burn a few CDs and go to the bug thread. Maybe print off the page and try looking for as many things on the list as possible, and then report my findings.
I know I am trying your patience hard right now, but I want us to get to a point where we can look back and say it was all worth it. Maybe I should take things to chat. You will see I am no monster, and maybe I will find that true for you all as well. If nothing else, try me out with some constructive things to do.
Maybe I should declare EOT too, but I don't know yet. I just want us to put this behind us, and I am willing to push forward and do what it takes to heal my relationship with the team.